I don't know why this is a surprise for me. I love seeing movies alone (even though I rarely do it). Eating alone at a sushi bar is wonderful (even though I've only done it once). And one of my goals in life is to go on a backpacking trip all by myself, over night, just a tent and me (needless to say, never done it). What I'm getting at here, is that I am really working on being better at hanging out with just me. No matter how romantic it seems second hand, I rarely want to do something by myself and I just about never seek it out.
This is a journey I've been working on for just about a year an a half now- enjoying being alone. Don't get me wrong, I love the people in my life and I want more of them. But, just before my 25th birthday I realized that the idea of solitude petrified me. I didn't know what to do with it or how to approach it. It was like this really cute boy I wanted to talk to, but couldn't open my mouth because he was so handsome. But, it was me that I was afraid of. Now really, how silly is that?
So, I changed my life. I moved to Nashville knowing no one. I decided to live by myself rather than with roommates. And, I started going on long walks everyday with no ipod or cellphone, just me...walking. All of the above have been big. The ballet tonight was big. But I still am a long ways away from my solo adventure with my tent. Actually, I don't even own my own tent. Hmmm...maybe that should be step one?
And anyways, I kind of cheated tonight. I wasn't REALLY alone. The ballet was A Midsummer's Night Dream and tonight was Shakespeare birthday. So really, we were celebrating.